Moving Forward

I've been hesitant to write anything since my gramps has passed. If I don't talk about it, it doesn't exist.

A few days ago I drove by the cemetery. I've found myself there often these past couple of months. In the hectic life I live, two boys, three baseball teams, working full time etc., I've realized that I need moments alone where my stress can disappear, even if for just a brief moment. The cemetery is a great place for this to happen for me. I can feel my Gramps hug me, and tell me "everything will be alright." Just as if he were next to me when I visit his graveside.

While I was standing next to my Grandpas plot, I noticed the ground had started to settle back into its original place. The once torn up and dead grass has found its original roots and is now regaining its life again, blending into the rest of the ground. I know soon, it will be as if the ground had never been tampered with. It actually makes me sad that there has been enough time without my Gramps for grass to start growing.

Just like the ground, our lives as a family have slowly started to settle and our new life has started to take place. Our life that consists of Gramps watching over us from afar rather than standing by our sides here. We are fortunate to have our roots to grasp on to during times of struggle. They are what keep us from falling apart. We miss him every day, it is still hard, but we are moving forward like he'd want us to. My grandpa was, and forever will be the strongest root of our family.

Funeral Information

I know I’m not the only one who feels like Winnie the Pooh in this clip right now. Whenever I did something wrong and would find I didn’t like my parent’s advice, I’d go straight to Gramps’ house. More often than not, he’d give me the same advice my parents did, but somehow his delivery left me feeling better than I did after hearing the exact same thing from my mom or dad. He was my go to man for 28 years.

Holy crap I miss my grandpa. I miss that he’s not sitting out on the front porch when I pull into my parent’s house, telling me I drive like a bat out of hell, or that I may have hit a few kids on the way in. I miss that he can’t give me a big bear hug because I’m sad. I hate knowing that the next time I do something stupid, which probably won’t take long, I can’t go to him for the comfort of knowing I’m only human and we all make mistakes. I’m so grateful for being able to have last words from him, even if they were “Hey! I thought we were trading you in for a motorcycle!” (Long story, but I love that his sense of humor never left him.)

Having a warning that our Gramps would soon be passing, gave us an opportunity to say our goodbyes rather than having him taken without notice. Even knowing his time was short, there are still so many things that were never said. I, along with many others, couldn’t have ever thanked him enough for all he’s done.  

The viewing will be Monday, April 2^nd from 6:00-8:00 p.m. at Broomhead Funeral Home, 12600 S. 2200 W. in Riverton. Gramps funeral will be held Tuesday April 3^rd at 11:00 a.m. at the Stake Center located at 12154 S. 3600 W. Thank you all again for the love and support through this difficult, yet peaceful time.

Meg

May Angels Lead You In Gramps....

Our sweet loving Father, Grandpa and most of all, Husband to our sweet Grandma and our best friend passed away this morning. Heaven opened it's doors this morning for a man who's greatness can not be described in words. We are so fortunate and blessed to have had this man in our lives. We are at peace knowing he was met on the otherside with so many loved ones who have gone before him. Our time with him wasn't as long as we'd hoped it would be, but we know that our Heavenly Father needed him more than we did.

Thank you to all for your love and support and countless prayers and thank you for allowing Perry to be a part of your lives.

All our Love,

The Kassing Family

An Update and more Love from Friends.

Gramps is hanging in there, he was pretty restless all day yesterday, I’m sure mostly from the discomfort of being in bed day in and day out can’t be comfortable. He has been extremely agitated; he kept trying to take off his bandage from the stitches he got last week. At one point yesterday, Sheri and I were trying to keep him from pulling it off and he looked Sheri straight in the face and very groggily said “Hey! Ya know what? I can kick the crap out of you any day! Don’t forget it!” I love that his sense of humor sneaks in as he comes in and out of it. We left the room to eat dinner because he’d finally fallen asleep, I don’t doubt he was faking it because sure enough, when we went back in his room, the bandage was off. He’d won that battle. We don’t get much out of him, and when he does say anything, most of the time we’re not quite sure what he is saying, so you can imagine how happy we were to get a little chuckle out of him yesterday.

Again we thank everyone for their thoughts and prayers, and for the countless meals that have been brought in by friends and neighbors. Not only are they thinking of Bubba, but the whole family, by bringing in enough food to feed an army. It is VERY much appreciated and we will never know how to repay each of you for your kindness and generosity.

I've been putting this off, just like I put off going to see Perry over years.  If I don't talk about this then it won't happen, it won't be real. I love Gramps.  I loved working for him all those years at Glyphics.  He was happy to see every single one of us, never had an unkind word (well....not that wasn't said in jest!), and loved us all.  He always teased me about my freckles, he'd come count them every day to see if I grew a new one.  When I was pregnant he'd waddle down the hall beside me and laugh, and he came to see my babies in the hospital to see if I passed on the freckles to them.  The part that will forever touch me is after I left Glyphics, my Mom got sick and died.  She was never a church goer but was a religious person.  I talked to Perry and he agreed to do a service for her.  It was so beautiful and touching for my family.  Perry had never met her but knew exactly what to say, he spoke so beautifully, and enlisted an entire crew to come and make it a special day.  Lori played music for us, Gary Moulton and Chad Stokes said some prayers.  It really touched me and reminds me that we are family, didn't matter that I wasn't born into Perry's family, but he loves me like I am one of the kids.  We have a great treasure in this man and I thank God every day that I had the opportunity to know him.  I am forever changed for the better because of his love.

Leann McFalls (Friend)

The Tafoya's here. We just want to send our love and our prayers to you at this time. Perry we want to tell you how much we love you, admire you, and appreciate all that you have done for us. You have touched our lives just like everyone else you have come in contact with. We have always appreciated your friendship from the time we moved into the ward.  You have been a great Bishop, and a great neighbor, and we will miss your genuine smiles, handshakes, and hugs!  We are so grateful that you have been a part of our lives, and we will continue love and pray for you and your family. LOVE WITH ALL OUR HEARTS.

The Tafoyas'

Small Update and Letters

We don’t really have much to report; Gramps has been sleeping for the past couple of days. Every once in a while we’ll get little smile, or a little wave or a mumbled “I love you” but that is the extent of his conversations with us. So many people have called or text to see if they can come visit. We are asking at this time to send any love through email, text or phone calls and keeping visits to immediate family members only. Thank you to everyone again for your thoughts and prayers.

Dear Gramp,

I love you so much you are the best grampa ever. I will never forget the memories we have had. Thanks for teaching me how to play the ukalaili it is so much fun. We have had so much fun together I love your pupets! those are so much fun. Well I love you soo much I cant wait to see you again in heaven you are the Best!

Love, Kennedee  (grand-daughter)

ps. thanks for letting me play the guitar its so fun.

Meg,

Since hearing the update on Perry my emotions have been very close to the surface and have "spilled over" many many times,  I find myself crying several times each day.  Working with Perry was a highlight in my life.  I loved hearing his stories and how he knew the best places to eat in every city is beyond me. Seeing him each and everyday and hearing him tease me about anything and everything- from the way my nose turns up at the end, to what I was eating for lunch- is something I will always cherish.   I sit now with a heavy, heavy heart knowing that in the last 9 years the only contact I've had with him has taken place over Facebook and even at that was very limited, I will forever look back knowing that I took his friendship for granted.  BUT I take comfort knowing he doesn't hold it against me, because I will ALWAYS remember the "big Perry smile" he gave me when I walked into the Glyphics Reunion.  That's just Perry, he loves us for US and is never judgmental. 

I was telling a friend yesterday the situation with Perry and I was trying to come up with the best way to describe him and my relationship to him and the best thing I could come with is he's the Grandpa or Bishop everyone wishes they had.  Heck, maybe if he were my bishop I'd make it to church... It's hard to imagine this world without "Big Per, with the Orange Hair" but to echo those that have already sent you letters, Heavenly Father needs his help on the other side. I lost my hero and Grandpa almost 2 years ago and I'm sure they will make fast friends and have story after story to tell each other. 

Thank you for putting the reunion together and allowing me the opportunity to reconnect with Perry.  Please give him a hug from me.  I sure love that man!

Angie Olson (friend)

Putting into words what my father in law means to me is probably impossible.  How do you summarize a 36 year friendship into a few words?  I remember when I first met Brett and told people that I liked him, the first thing they would always say is "he has the coolest dad"!  The first words Perry ever said to me were "those are the ugliest shoes I've ever seen"!  That didn't seem that cool to me.  However, marrying his son, and becoming part of the Kassing family has been the greatest blessing of my life.  I was accepted by Perry, and Shirley, flaws and all.  They have become some of my dearest friends.  We have laughed together, cried together and spent countless hours visiting in our neighboring homes and on the porch.  Long summer nights we've sat and heard the same stories told over, and over again.  By Perry.  He would start a story and say "have I ever told you about the time..." we'd say yes, and off he'd go telling it again.  It didn't matter if it was the first or the 50th time, he'd just keep going. 

Over the years I've discovered why everyone thinks he's so cool.  He has a way of making you feel like you’re his favorite person in the world.  All of us "in laws " would tell you we're his favorite, that's just how he made you feel.  Early on in our marriage he would come pick me up for lunch.  I think he told Shirley he was working, but he never has had any visible means of support.  He took me to some pretty scary places.  He taught me to love Mexican food that would make your eyeballs sweat.  He introduced me to Schmidts bakery, and the dessert at Market Street Grill.  He loves me, and I know it.  The last 4 1/2 years have not been easy.  When his friend and Dr,  Anna Beck told him the cancer was back we sat in his library and bawled like babies.  He told me he wasn't ready to go, but maybe it was time.  These last few weeks have been hard.  But some of the most tender moments of our friendship.  We've laughed, and we've cried.  I will miss my friend, but I know I will see him again. 

Now, I want to say something about his Bubba.  He loves you deeply.  He's told me that so many times.  It's not easy to be married to a legend (in his own mind right?)  But you've been his one and only true love.  The Marine that swept his heart away.  As I've watched you care for him these last few years I've admired your strength and your courage.  You are an amazing woman, and as a plaque I once gave you says "how blessed I am, how fortunate I've been, that you are his mother, and also my friend".  Love ya Bubb

Lori (Daughter in Law)

More Love and and Update!

We all know how stubborn Perry can be. He doesn't like to be told no, and he sure as hell isn't going to let cancer keep him from doing what he wants. Gramps shouldn't be getting up on his own, he physically can't do it! Early this morning he decided to get up to go to the bathroom by himself and took a little stumble and gashed open his arm. A few stitches later and a hospital gown and a few other things stolen by Lori and Bubba and they should be home ASAP! (unless those two end up in jail, just got an update they're up to six puke bags stolen....)

Thanks again for the kind words, here are the latest!

Gary...you're a good man. Your thoughts, as well as the kind thoughts and concern of many others over the past several weeks, have had me reflecting on moments, I've shared with Gramps. (Funny how that works.)

When I was a young boy...(always wanted to start a story like that)... us Kassing's would frequent Jackson Hole. I was pretty young, in fact so young I was too scared to run the Snake River. Alright, so I was probably old enough to run the snake, but I wasn't blessed with Gramps or Bubba's "Fearless" gene (thanks Mom) so I stayed back and kept an eye on our camp. (Like any brave man would.)

I do remember, however, spending a day fishing with my Dad and Gramps. We weren't out long before the weather came in and forced us to pack up. As we hiked back Gramps slid on a rock and sliced his leg pretty good. I'll never forget the panicked feeling I had watching my Grandpa fall. Of course, he acted as if it was no big deal, cleaned it up, covered it up and walked on. It was that moment I thought Gramps was a literal Superman. Who falls down, slices their leg on a boulder and doesn't cry? (Don't tell him this, but if that's me...you better believe My Dad and Gramps are carrying me out. Not only are they carrying me out, I'm getting pampered the rest of the trip and then reminding everyone of my fall the next year so I am pampered then as well.)

I'm not sure why I continue to reflect on that memory so often lately. Maybe it's the last time I was scared for Gramps. Or, really, the only time I was scared for Gramps. At least until this final bout with cancer. As Meghann mentioned in her introduction to this blog, we've been blessed with relatively good health in the Kassing family. I don't know why. We've consumed more Coke Products and Movie Popcorn than the entire country of New Zealand and I myself have eaten more Skittles than anyone on the planet. Guaranteed. I'm sure there will be more trials ahead, as such is life, however, watching Gramps fight a battle he has so valiantly fought, has opened my eyes to the fact that both my Gramps and all we hold dear, are mortal.

I've had a difficult time accepting this, but then, there are times when I know things will be alright. I think I can speak for the entire Kassing clan, when I say we have found comfort in the memories of others. We have found comfort hearing, watching and learning of the relationships Gramps has made and the lives he has touched. We have found comfort knowing the joyous reunions awaiting him in heaven and the fact that we will all see him again. Although Gramps should have had many more years to live, if you count the lives he has impacted and the stories he has told, he has lived a thousand years. The man, even in his weakest state can move an entire room. Hell, he even has his own blog.

I could go on and on...(one trait I picked up from Gramps)...but I'm sure there is only so much one person can write on one blog and I need to save space for the memories of others to be shared.

I love you Gramps. We love you. And we love you Bubba. Bubba, you're strength is one of the most underrated attributes you have. Thank you for taking care of Gramps and for standing by his side for over 50 years. I know the reason he has been able to fight as long as he has is because he needs more time with you.

As much as we need him here, there is an army in heaven awaiting an incredible General and that man is my Grandpa. Thank you for showing us what matters most. For teaching us that the most important thing we can develop in this life is our relationship with others. Thank you for being a wonderful father to my Dad (and Mom), a grandpa to me and Great Grandpa to my children. May each of us carry your loving, caring legacy forward as I know you would want us to.

Brock

Before we moved, I remember going over to see Perry about a Valentine Day idea we had. I asked him about a poem we might use and engrave it on glass in a picture frame. We brainstormed it and came up with a poem. It said:

Shirley...

As we talked,

I couldn't help but notice

(hiding on your lips)

One half of a perfect kiss.

As we walked,

I couldn't help but wonder

If the other half was mine

Or something I would miss.

As we parted,

I couldn't help remember

How seldom and how random

A perfect kiss might be.

The how and if;

The when and where to be.

So I talk and walk

And watch...and wait to see.

Perry called me back on Valentine's Day and said;

"It worked, she's crying all over the place".

We both had a good chuckle and a great Valentine's Day continued.

This little story personifies Perry as well as Shirley. The unconditional love I been privileged to see between them make my day when I think about them.

When Perry was Bishop of our ward, I was the Sunday School President. We had a group of youth that were particularly troublesome at the time. Perry showed great patience and love for them, and each of them made it through the terrible teens. While a few wondered what he was doing, he knew the road on which to take them. He made a big difference by taking these girls through the time of finding themselves in the world. He was always a patient man in all other aspects of being a Bishop as well as a friend.

It seems that we don't let our friends know more of how we feel before circumstances strike that bring those things to mind. Of this I am certainly guilty. There is a poem that I have found that sums up my feelings for and of Perry. It is him to a tee. I can always picture him standing at the pulpit or just conversing with friends, he ever present smile and the twinkling humor in his eyes.

Perry is the man! A man of the family and a man of God.

The Bridge Builder

An old man, going a lone highway,

Came, at the evening, cold and gray,

To a chasm, vast, and deep, and wide,

Through which was flowing a sullen tide.

The old man crossed in the twilight dim;

The sullen stream had no fear for him;

But he turned, when safe on the other side,

And built a bridge to span the tide.

"Old man," said a fellow pilgrim, near,

"You are wasting strength with building here;

Your journey will end with the ending day;

You never again will pass this way;

You've crossed the chasm, deep and wide-

Why build you this bridge at the evening tide?"

The builder lifted his old gray head:

"Good friend, in the path I have come," he said,

"There followeth after me today,

A youth, whose feet must pass this way.

This chasm, that has been naught to me,

To that fair-haired youth may a pitfall be.

He, too, must cross in the twilight dim;

Good friend, I am building this bridge for him."

Need I say more?!

My Love and Prayers and thankfulness for true friends.

Bill Froehlich

To put memories of my Gramps in a brief blog post is impossible. I wrote a post about him back in July on my own blog that describes how a hero was created in my eyes.

http://panhandlingwithclass.blogspot.com/2011/07/kudos-my-hero-leaving-all-best.html

There are so many things to be said about him that I couldn’t touch in one short post.

When I was about 2 years old my family took a camping trip to Jackson Hole. Something I remember vaguely, but have had stories retold to me over and over again of the disturbance I caused in an Evanston Wyoming Arby’s restaurant…I’ve heard the word “blow out” couldn’t even describe this catastrophe, and that the high chair was more than likely obliterated after we left.

Needless to say, I was too young, and a little too sick to ride the Snake River that trip. I spent the day with Gramps instead. Like I mentioned, I was young and don’t remember much of this other than stories he told me of two black birds sitting on a fence and a picture he took of me smelling wild flowers. The picture has been hanging in my parent’s house for 26 years. What a great reminder to me of the amazing grandfather I have. A Grandfather who chose to stay back with a 2 year old when he could have been out enjoying time with his friends and family on the river.

I was never a burden to him. I don’t recall my Gramps ever getting frustrated or upset with us as kids. Even when our favorite thing to do was see how fast we could run into his rock solid belly! How I miss that big belly! Gramps was always loving and excited to see us. His love for us was constant as we got older, and for lack of better words, more stupid. Even when we would show up to his house pregnant at 17 or with random piercings and tattoos, he loved us as if we were still young an innocent. He loved us through all of our mistakes, even if he wasn’t necessarily “proud” of our choices, it never showed.

I am so fortunate that my boys have had the opportunity to know him, even if only for a short time. I frequently reflect upon the memories I have of him as a young child and can only hope my boys will do the same and take with them through life, the lessons they have learned from him. Carter was able to learn how to play spoons with Gramps a couple weeks ago while he was still feeling decent. I love that he had the opportunity to do this. He could make music out of anything! Even spoons!!

It doesn’t matter who you are, Gramps makes you feel that you are his best friend, that you are the most important thing going on in his life at that time. I am forever grateful for the moments we have shared in his office and library. Those tender moments where he would cry with me because he truly felt the pain I was going through and had the ability to say the right thing to make it all disappear, even if just for the moment. To think that I won’t get to sit out on his front porch with my Gramps again breaks my heart, but I can only help but be comforted by the legacy he leaves behind. Knowing that he will still live within us and that I will be with him again some day.

May Angels Lead you in Gramps. I love you!

Meg

Grandpa,, o gosh where do I even begin?? I will start by saying I love you!!! You are such a trooper for making it this far!! You are such an amazing grandpa I couldn't ask for a better one then you! I know for a fact you can make it through anything!!(: you always put a smile on my face!! Im gunna miss all of your inspirational stories,, your song you made for me,,... and all of your puppet shows you would act out,, but most of all your humor and the love you have for your family!!! Gramps,, you will always be in my heart and will be my GUARDIAN ANGEL!!! ♥ I know you were sent here to watch over me and that's what you have done!!(: your my best friend and i love you with all my heart!! Stay strong!!

Lyndzie Palmer

More Kind Words

I’ve received some beautiful emails for Perry so forgive me for this LONG post, I’m combining the ones that have come in today into one big post. Words can not express how much your kind words mean to our family. Thank you!

Meg,

I just want to express how thankful I am to him for being there when my brother passed and for always being so inviting.

Although it has been over eleven years since my little brother passed, the moment when Perry came into our home after they removed Garrett from the house was such a peaceful feeling and just seeing his face made the pain somewhat bearable.  Although the hurt was still there he was able to calm me down long enough to give me a blessing.  I have never felt the way I did after a blessing, he had such calming and comforting words. 

My favorite thing about Perry are his hugs, he gives the best bear hugs in the world and his laugh!  I love his laugh!

If time happens to cut things short all I ask is that you express how thankful I am for him being in my life and such a huge part of it he is and will always be!

Thanks!

Love your family!!!

Amanda Staples Dipo (Friend)

I would like to share with you how I feel about Gramps.  He is one of the most remarkable people that I have ever known.  From the moment I became part of this family, even before,  I have felt nothing but complete acceptance from him.  He has always loved me simply because He loved me.  That is who he is.  In fact at times it has even been overwhelming.  Admittedly, at first it freaked me out a little because generally I am not a touchy-feely  kind of person.  I grew to love those hugs and wish with all my heart that I could have one now.

I have had so many experiences with him but one stands out I would like to share.  Even Skip has never heard this.  After many years of trying to add to our family, I was having a discussion with Gramps about my frustrations and profound sadness. I had been crying, after listening to me for a while He simply put my head on his shoulder, held my hand and said "Jami,  I know that you will find the child that belongs to you and that little boy will be the luckiest child in the world to have you for a mother.  I have a feeling something good is about to happen."  Somehow this reassured me and calmed my heart.  I will never be able to explain what this meant to me.  Something good did happen and you know how this story ended.

I have a gaping whole in my heart knowing that we will soon lose him.  He has been everything to me but at the same time has helped me become stronger.  I love Perry as if he were my own father.  We have spent a lot of time with him and Bubba and I am so lucky to be married to one of his "clones".  I wish that my boys could have had some more time with their Grandpa and I will dearly miss being called a "cute little critter."

Jami Kassing (Daughter in Law)

I just wanted to share a couple of stories and memories that I have of Gramps…if you feel like sharing with others I’m fine with that. These are some things I’ll never forget about Gramps.

My divorce was really hard, one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to go through, I felt alone and scared and worried about everything. How could such a wonderful thing such as marriage fall apart and get so messed up? I didn’t have a lot of help financially, didn’t have a lot of friends most who were friends had abandoned me. I was an emotional wreck! I was not very strong that is for sure. I started having regular chats with Perry both in and out of work, he always listened to me and uplifted me emotionally, and he never tried to change me only but for good. He never judged me or shunned me for my mistakes. He had great advice for me and always a hug and an ‘I sure love you kid’ He became my dear friend during this time and I knew I could always go to him with anything I needed. Chandler was having a hard time adjusting to a few things, there were certain stresses that were new to him, and as he got to be about 5ish I knew I needed to do something to help this little man feel better. Perry offered to help; he and Chandler would sit in his office or on the couch at Perry’s house and just chat, or read or play with the silly puppets he always pulled out of his desk drawer. Chandler loves Perry, they became buddies. Perry watched out for him like a hawk and Chandler was always excited to see him. We’ve always kept in touch over the years and I think Perry would say it has been really fun watching Chandler grow to be a wonderful young man.

In the fall of 2006 my dad was diagnosed with lung cancer something we didn’t see coming. Again I turned to Perry for advice and for guidance during this difficult time; he came to know a lot about my dad and grew to love him through me. It was not very much fun watching him battle cancer and when he passed in August of 2007 it was Perry I called with tears I couldn’t hold back asking again for advice on how to accept this in my life. I spoke at my dads funeral and Perry sat in the congregation and just winked, he knew I was scared and I was not ready to say goodbye, it helped having him there cheering me on with his wink. 

Perry has always been an amazing friend, I guess I never really felt like I worked for him or he was my boss or anything, he was more of a mentor and friend maybe that is why we all call him Gramps. Someone who could always make you laugh with his funny comments and sometimes sarcastic ways. I went through my hope chest the other night and found a book that Perry gave me for Christmas one year. It’s titled “Best Friends” it’s a book of witty meaningful quotes on friendship, he gave it to me along with a letter. In the letter were the lyrics to a song about the gift of friendship: 

My life, it don’t count for nothing.

When I look at this world, I feel so small.

My life, it’s only a season:

A passing September that no one will recall.

But I gave joy to my mother.

And I made my lover smile.

And I can give comfort to my friends when they’re hurting.

And I can make it seem better for a while.

Oh how I will cherish this book and letter for years to come. He truly is a hero and a man I’ll always know loved me.  

I have a few other things I wanted to put in this email, things about Perry that make me smile. I love that Perry would make fun of how short I am. Daily! I love how Perry would tease me when I was pregnant, big as a basketball! I loved putting my make-up on at work as Perry would watch across the hall with a smirk. I loved eating Beto’s with Gramps. I loved listening to him play his instruments. I love that every time I hear Johnny Cash I think of Gramps.I loved taking him a box of Sugar Free Cherry Cordials whenever I could. I love Perry’s stories, about life, about growing up, it didn’t matter he was a great story teller! I loved how much he loved my kids, watching them play in his basement and pick out books from the library he treated them just like his own grandkids. I love his comments on FB, he was often very sarcastic but always funny, he always encouraged me to continue to post my uplifting quotes and called me his ‘little philosopher’ I love that Perry always teased me about being a primary teacher…who knows someday maybe! I love Perry’s laugh! 

I am forever grateful to him for his friendship and love. I will miss him so much. It wasn’t that I saw him or talked to him everyday but I always knew he was there and that he would drop whatever was going on to spend time with me. I’ve hated to see him suffer and be sick, but I know he will soon be free from his pain and suffering and on to bigger and better things. I will miss him just being there…but I know he won’t be far.  I love you Perry with all my heart! 

Kimmie (Friend)

Perry, you were the best big brother I could have wished for.

You taught me not to say nigger, and why.

You taught me to try new foods, like green persimmons and chili peppers.

You taught me compassion by being compassionate.

You taught me trust, as you taught me to swim by convincing me to jump off a pier.

You taught me to waltz across genres.

You gave me Hermann Hesse, thank you.

As you "rage against the dying of the light", I give you peace.

Dallas Kassing (Brother)


Perry told me this story while he sat with me, the evening after Dallas and I married.
While away on business, he had gone in a theatre to catch a movie.  When he noticed the woman next to him was crying, he asked if she would like to hold his hand.  So they sat there, quietly, while he offered the great and simple comfort of holding his strong, immense hand.

What a lovely man he is!

Love,

France (Sister in Law)

A letter from a Friend

Gary, I can't thank you enough for your kind words. You have been such a great friend and example to all of us. Thank you for allowing me to share this with everyone:

Meghann,

I cannot express in words my love and admiration for your grandfather. He truly is one of the greats. His influence and impact on every person he came in contact with is beyond comprehension. For me personally I do believe he has forever changed my life. He is my mentor, my coach, my cheerleader and most of all he is my friend. We spent many of lunches together talking about all facets of life. Many times I would come out of a Perry trance and realize I was crying in a restaurant like a little baby. I’m sure all the people around us were wondering why two grown men were crying in public. His ability to connect with others is something I will spend the rest of my life trying to mimic. Yes, he is one of the greats!

When I read your message the other day I immediately thought of a poem he wrote back in 2007. When he first shared it with me I cried. Well, I was able to find it this morning and yes I cried again. If you feel it’s appropriate I think now is a great time to share it with others on your blog. 

There is no doubt in my mind God needs a special leader on the other side of the veil. And I know he will remember his name when it is called.

I knew God once.
He called me by name.
(Not the one I use now,
but one I’ll remember
when I hear it again.)

He said, “Go on now, and
Do the best you can.
If you need help, just ask,
and I will send someone
to give you a hand.
You will know them by the smile,
and soft touch of their hand on your shoulder.”

As I walked away, He said,
“Be sure to come back home,
good son, and remember that I love you.”

Perry Kassing May 18, 2007

God bless you all! With heartfelt love for the Kassing family 

Gary

The Latest

There are many great things about technology. Right now, I am thankful for blogs and social media sites allowing us as a family to be able to give updates on Gramps ONE time, rather than having to retell each person who asks. Perry is a wonderful man and has touched more lives than I will ever even dream of knowing, so you can imagine the magnitude of love and support we are receiving and the amount of questions being asked. To repeat it is draining and highly emotional for us all, so we thought a blog would be the best way to keep everyone informed and up to date on Perry’s condition.

Five years ago the father of this great family pictured above, was diagnosed with Colon Cancer. Cancer. A word unfamiliar to the Kassing family up until this point. We have been beyond blessed with good health and weren’t quite prepared for the path that had been laid out for us. We never thought our Dad, Grandapa and Great Grandapa, would be the strength behind us all to get us through the rough road we were about to travel. Never letting it get his spirits down and always reassuring us while we struggled, that all will be well. The battle has been long, it has been hard, and we have been humbled. We’ve lost him, revived him, and loved him through this incredibly tough fight.

About a month ago, we were told the cancer was back with a vengeance. Something we were mindful could and more than likely would happen, but something we were not ready for. Two weeks ago, Perry went in to begin Chemo treatments as a final attempt to slow down the cancer. The original plan was to have chemo treatments every 2 weeks for a while. The first round of chemo sucked every ounce of energy he had left in him. Unfortunately, the cancer is too strong, and he is too weak to fight anymore. He has been extremely sick and unable to keep much, if any, food down for weeks.

Perry was admitted to IMC last Friday where they were able to relieve some of the nausea and pain. He was released yesterday where he will be in the hands of Home Hospice, and best of all, with his loving family as he ends this incredibly long and draining battle.

There are so many good things about Perry that it would take thousands of blog posts to even attempt to explain the man he is. What a blessing it has been to have him in our lives for 75 years and what a privilege it is to be part of such a wonderful family.

We will continue to give updates on his condition, and I invite anyone who has a great story about Perry to email me so I can share them on this Blog. Thank you all for your thoughts and prayers and for allowing Perry to be a part of your lives. He loves people and he loves to make people happy. It’s been proven to us that this is something he never struggled with as we’ve seen the amount of love and support as he’s fought this disease.  

Any emails can be sent to megkassing@gmail.com

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aDiIeK7epfw

We Love you Gramps!!