More Kind Words

I’ve received some beautiful emails for Perry so forgive me for this LONG post, I’m combining the ones that have come in today into one big post. Words can not express how much your kind words mean to our family. Thank you!

Meg,

I just want to express how thankful I am to him for being there when my brother passed and for always being so inviting.

Although it has been over eleven years since my little brother passed, the moment when Perry came into our home after they removed Garrett from the house was such a peaceful feeling and just seeing his face made the pain somewhat bearable.  Although the hurt was still there he was able to calm me down long enough to give me a blessing.  I have never felt the way I did after a blessing, he had such calming and comforting words. 

My favorite thing about Perry are his hugs, he gives the best bear hugs in the world and his laugh!  I love his laugh!

If time happens to cut things short all I ask is that you express how thankful I am for him being in my life and such a huge part of it he is and will always be!

Thanks!

Love your family!!!

Amanda Staples Dipo (Friend)

I would like to share with you how I feel about Gramps.  He is one of the most remarkable people that I have ever known.  From the moment I became part of this family, even before,  I have felt nothing but complete acceptance from him.  He has always loved me simply because He loved me.  That is who he is.  In fact at times it has even been overwhelming.  Admittedly, at first it freaked me out a little because generally I am not a touchy-feely  kind of person.  I grew to love those hugs and wish with all my heart that I could have one now.

I have had so many experiences with him but one stands out I would like to share.  Even Skip has never heard this.  After many years of trying to add to our family, I was having a discussion with Gramps about my frustrations and profound sadness. I had been crying, after listening to me for a while He simply put my head on his shoulder, held my hand and said "Jami,  I know that you will find the child that belongs to you and that little boy will be the luckiest child in the world to have you for a mother.  I have a feeling something good is about to happen."  Somehow this reassured me and calmed my heart.  I will never be able to explain what this meant to me.  Something good did happen and you know how this story ended.

I have a gaping whole in my heart knowing that we will soon lose him.  He has been everything to me but at the same time has helped me become stronger.  I love Perry as if he were my own father.  We have spent a lot of time with him and Bubba and I am so lucky to be married to one of his "clones".  I wish that my boys could have had some more time with their Grandpa and I will dearly miss being called a "cute little critter."

Jami Kassing (Daughter in Law)

I just wanted to share a couple of stories and memories that I have of Gramps…if you feel like sharing with others I’m fine with that. These are some things I’ll never forget about Gramps.

My divorce was really hard, one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to go through, I felt alone and scared and worried about everything. How could such a wonderful thing such as marriage fall apart and get so messed up? I didn’t have a lot of help financially, didn’t have a lot of friends most who were friends had abandoned me. I was an emotional wreck! I was not very strong that is for sure. I started having regular chats with Perry both in and out of work, he always listened to me and uplifted me emotionally, and he never tried to change me only but for good. He never judged me or shunned me for my mistakes. He had great advice for me and always a hug and an ‘I sure love you kid’ He became my dear friend during this time and I knew I could always go to him with anything I needed. Chandler was having a hard time adjusting to a few things, there were certain stresses that were new to him, and as he got to be about 5ish I knew I needed to do something to help this little man feel better. Perry offered to help; he and Chandler would sit in his office or on the couch at Perry’s house and just chat, or read or play with the silly puppets he always pulled out of his desk drawer. Chandler loves Perry, they became buddies. Perry watched out for him like a hawk and Chandler was always excited to see him. We’ve always kept in touch over the years and I think Perry would say it has been really fun watching Chandler grow to be a wonderful young man.

In the fall of 2006 my dad was diagnosed with lung cancer something we didn’t see coming. Again I turned to Perry for advice and for guidance during this difficult time; he came to know a lot about my dad and grew to love him through me. It was not very much fun watching him battle cancer and when he passed in August of 2007 it was Perry I called with tears I couldn’t hold back asking again for advice on how to accept this in my life. I spoke at my dads funeral and Perry sat in the congregation and just winked, he knew I was scared and I was not ready to say goodbye, it helped having him there cheering me on with his wink. 

Perry has always been an amazing friend, I guess I never really felt like I worked for him or he was my boss or anything, he was more of a mentor and friend maybe that is why we all call him Gramps. Someone who could always make you laugh with his funny comments and sometimes sarcastic ways. I went through my hope chest the other night and found a book that Perry gave me for Christmas one year. It’s titled “Best Friends” it’s a book of witty meaningful quotes on friendship, he gave it to me along with a letter. In the letter were the lyrics to a song about the gift of friendship: 

My life, it don’t count for nothing.

When I look at this world, I feel so small.

My life, it’s only a season:

A passing September that no one will recall.

But I gave joy to my mother.

And I made my lover smile.

And I can give comfort to my friends when they’re hurting.

And I can make it seem better for a while.

Oh how I will cherish this book and letter for years to come. He truly is a hero and a man I’ll always know loved me.  

I have a few other things I wanted to put in this email, things about Perry that make me smile. I love that Perry would make fun of how short I am. Daily! I love how Perry would tease me when I was pregnant, big as a basketball! I loved putting my make-up on at work as Perry would watch across the hall with a smirk. I loved eating Beto’s with Gramps. I loved listening to him play his instruments. I love that every time I hear Johnny Cash I think of Gramps.I loved taking him a box of Sugar Free Cherry Cordials whenever I could. I love Perry’s stories, about life, about growing up, it didn’t matter he was a great story teller! I loved how much he loved my kids, watching them play in his basement and pick out books from the library he treated them just like his own grandkids. I love his comments on FB, he was often very sarcastic but always funny, he always encouraged me to continue to post my uplifting quotes and called me his ‘little philosopher’ I love that Perry always teased me about being a primary teacher…who knows someday maybe! I love Perry’s laugh! 

I am forever grateful to him for his friendship and love. I will miss him so much. It wasn’t that I saw him or talked to him everyday but I always knew he was there and that he would drop whatever was going on to spend time with me. I’ve hated to see him suffer and be sick, but I know he will soon be free from his pain and suffering and on to bigger and better things. I will miss him just being there…but I know he won’t be far.  I love you Perry with all my heart! 

Kimmie (Friend)

Perry, you were the best big brother I could have wished for.

You taught me not to say nigger, and why.

You taught me to try new foods, like green persimmons and chili peppers.

You taught me compassion by being compassionate.

You taught me trust, as you taught me to swim by convincing me to jump off a pier.

You taught me to waltz across genres.

You gave me Hermann Hesse, thank you.

As you "rage against the dying of the light", I give you peace.

Dallas Kassing (Brother)


Perry told me this story while he sat with me, the evening after Dallas and I married.
While away on business, he had gone in a theatre to catch a movie.  When he noticed the woman next to him was crying, he asked if she would like to hold his hand.  So they sat there, quietly, while he offered the great and simple comfort of holding his strong, immense hand.

What a lovely man he is!

Love,

France (Sister in Law)